And there it was. Right beneath the surface, the tug and a tear. After a full spring and summer of clearing out our home of 32 years, we were freshly planted in our new home. We feel we made a good decision to wrangle in our resources and take on this lovely home that was neglected over many years to create a warm, welcoming and inviting space for our lives. Boxes are still unpacked, decisions still need to be made about our renovations and we have more than enough landscaping to keep us busy for several years!
I thought I had it made it through this major transition, my relocation bump, but I was all wrong. While sitting in a waiting room full of kids and parents with one of my grandsons, another woman and I struck up a conversation. After a moment I asked her where she was from and she replied “Southborough”. It was visceral. My reaction to hearing the name of my old town tugged at my heart as I felt a tear rise to my eyes. I couldn’t believe how close to the surface yet so deceptively hidden my grief was.
This is the nature of transition. We can intellectually speak about it, prepare for it, even look forward to it on some level, but sometimes when you least expect it, the experience of loss snaps you to attention. The journey towards rebuilding after any loss takes time, intentional activity, and remembering what you are moving towards as you reflect on what you let go of. I decided that I needed to look at ways to make my fixer upper house feel more like home to me so I wrote down what I thought would be helpful. I looked at what made me feel “at home.”
My family. For me, it was having my family spend time here creating new memories with me and my husband. So we’ve had some very disorganized meals and chaotic sleepovers with our grandkids. So helpful! Really, that’s not a joke.
Planting and playing in my gardens. I began working outside in my new gardens, planting, weeding and lots of pruning with my clippers. (My back went into spasm after that day of work!) Walking. My husband and I are also taking our daily walk which definitely grounds me to the feel of new territory and we are meeting some people that live near us as well on our walks.
Friendships. Lastly, I am slowly inviting friends over to see our home. This is probably my biggest struggle, but I am doing my best to keep at it. As a life coach, transitions are what I am about. Transitions that make your life simpler, more rich, fascinating or enjoyable. Transitions that create positive relationships with yourself, others, your career and overall well-being.
And just like the people I serve, I look for ways every day to make it through to the other side with grace, laughter, courage and a huge dose of gratitude for all that I do have in my life. But I appreciate that every once in a while I may still feel the tug and a tear.
Part II of this blog will follow in next newsletter.